To my dear children,
Since going full time at the end of 2018, I will admit I have struggled. The only real positive is the extra money each month, but you don’t currently understand this.
Last night my dear boy you asked me to take you to school. I said I can’t as I have to leave early for work. Then you asked me if I would pick you up from school, again I said I can’t, I won’t be back in time. Then you said to me ‘but mummy do you remember before, you used to take us and pick us up’.
I can’t describe the amount of guilt I felt after hearing my little boy say this to me. It honestly broke my heart. I know that you don’t understand why I am not able to take you both to school anymore but believe me when I say that I would love for nothing more than to be able to take you.
There is no such thing as a balanced work / social life, at least in our world anyway. I work Monday – Friday, I leave the house around 7am and I am home around 6pm. Since going full time I now only see you evenings and weekends, and briefly in the mornings. I hate it. I hate it so much and I truly wish I could return to part time work. But let me tell you this now, I promise I will make the most of the time that we are all home together.
The 6 week school holidays are coming up which is always a struggle in getting time off work. Your dad and I have to sit down together and plan our alternating days off. Even though it is a struggle juggling this I enjoy being home so much and I wish I could be home more often! I love the long walks we take, watching you playing in the park, riding your bikes and just exploring and doing what children do. We are very lucky that your grandparents are able to look after you if we are both working or you have an inset day. They have made it so much easier for us and without them I wouldn’t have been able to return full time. Thanks to being full time we now have the option of being able to take you abroad for holidays and on more days out.
I know that one day you will look back and you probably won’t even remember who picked you up from school, but I just want you to know that I really wanted to. I love you both more than anything and anyone in the world and even though you are sometimes naughty I will still always do anything and everything that I can for you.
All my love, mum xxx