9 years ago today my world fell apart. .
Everything I thought was good in the world disappeared.
At 18 years old my mum gained her angel wings and flew to heaven.
No longer would I feel her warm embrace, no longer could I hold her hand or kiss her.
No longer could I talk to her to tell her how much i loved her or how much I needed her.
I wish I could go back and make the most of the time I had with her.
Feelings of guilt for not spending more time with her will always haunt my mind.
Just to cuddle on the sofa one more time.
To have her here now to see her
beautiful grandchildren, my daughter and son will know your name and know how much you meant to me and all the wonderful things you've done.
The tears in my eyes are always there the ache in my heart grows stronger every day.
For ovarian cancer stole you away at the young age of 50.
To have my mum so cruelly ripped away from me when she'd never done anything wrong.
Why my mum? Why hurt me? Why hurt her?
She was scared and hurting, no more operations, no more chemotherapy, she knew she'd lost her fight, she knew she was going to die.
I cannot begin to even think or know what she was going through. All I could do was hold her tight and hope that if I held on tight enough she'd stay another day.
On the 22nd May 2005 she drew her final breathe and left this cruel world to join the angels in the sky and grow her angel wings.
You were too good for this planet, I know that now, you were needed more in heaven. To share your love and watch down as your children grow.
I feel you by my side and simple things let me know you are still with me. I catch a scent of your perfume or a reflection in the corner of my eye. My daughter reminds me so much of you and I'm so glad I still feel you here.
May 22nd 2015 you will have been gone 10 long years.
Please help me to commemorate my mum by donating what you can in support of the charity skydive that I will be doing for Velindre Cancer Hospital on the 10th anniversary of her passing.
Donations can be made to PayPal firstname.lastname@example.org.
Supporting the fighters
Admiring the survivors
Honouring the taken
And never ever giving up hope.