Monday, 9 September 2013

Days out - how to cope????

My partner and I love going out, in fact we barely stay in! Before our daughter was born went everywhere from Cardiff Bay to days out in England.

When Mollie was born however all that changed... how on earth do you go out with a new born baby? There's just so much stuff to take from bottles, wipes, formula, toys, change of clothes, nappies to wipes and more! Then of course there's the routine! Okay okay in the early days that doesn't matter so much, when you're trying to establish a routine how do you fit it in with going out for the day? heck how do you fit in just going to the local shop?!

We tried so many different routines in the beginning from set time routines (which in my opinion don't work) to making the baby fit in with your routine - you shouldn't have to change what you do to fit around the baby's schedule. Iv heard so many people tell us how they did it, what's right and what's wrong, and it can all be so overwhelming for a new mother.

Well basically in the end we said a big fat "stuff you!" We'll do this our way, the way that works best for us, it may not please everyone but who cares so long as you have a happy healthy baby that's all that matters.

So from then on we changed what we were doing and we listened and we watched. For our beautiful amazing creation was the only one who could actually show us, tell us what she wanted. Yes even though she cannot speak our baby would give us subtle signs to tell us exactly what she needed.

If she was hungry she would cry, if she was wet it was a slightly different cry, when she was tired she would rub her eyes. Amazing ey? Our baby had her very own built in parenting how to manual!

Close friends and family should be supportive but this isn't always the case. You just have to explain to them this is my baby, I am the parent and I'm going to do this my way, the way that I think is best for my baby. They should understand and if they don't .... well more fool them! My attitude was and what?! basically this is how we do it.

In time the realisation that actually you do know what you're doing and baby is thriving kicks in. We have a routine it is not set in stone and it does alter especially if we are going out for the day or if we are attending a hospital appointment, but we do stick with it as much as we can. At the moment our daughter is 11 months old and this is her routine;

*She wakes up when she is awake (simple)
* She has breakfast and a bottle
*Two hours after she has woken she takes her first nap
*She wakes up when she is awake
*She has lunch (between 12&1)
*Three - three and a half hours after she wakes from her last nap she will have her second nap
*She wakes up when she is awake
*She has dinner
*Four and a half hours later (normally between 7-8pm) she has a bottle and bed (Sometimes it is a fight to get her down though)

Sometimes she will sleep through the night sometimes she wont. Sometimes she needs a bottle to help her go back to sleep sometimes all she wants is a cuddle.

We recently went to Cardiff Castle for a day out as they had a family event on. It was here at this event that I began to wonder as I watched my baby girl squirm around in her pushchair looking more and more uncomfortable because she wanted to get out, as I watched her refuse her food in the café but happily eat ours, it began to sink in.... OMG how am i going to cope with two babies?!!!!

What if one is asleep and the other is awake screaming and wakes the other up?
What if one wants more attention than the other, will the other feel left out?
How can I get two babies ready for a day out?
How will I cope when my partner is in work or working a night shift?
How can I ever be on time for anything again?
........I could go on.

But I guess a parent you just know that you will manage to work something out, you will work out what is best for both of your children even if they are completely different and have completely different needs. I mean we've done okay with our first daughter I'm sure we'll manage with the next...right? All I know for now is that you've just got to do what works for you no matter what anyone else says or tells you. You will make mistakes, you will shout at them and then feel so horrible but hey that's parenthood and you wouldn't be the person you are today with out the same type of parenting that your parents gave you and that you in turn give to your children.

How did you manage with the arrival of your second child? what were the highs and the lows? and what advice do you have for second time expectant mothers? Please leave your comments below, we would love to hear from you x

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